Over 50, Single, and Living Your Best Life
By Dr. Sinclair N. Grey III
So many single people want to be married. They talk about it constantly and have a habit of seeking a marital companion with every new relationship they make. Please don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be married, but if a person is unable to embrace who they are as a person (a single person), then they will not be ready for a relationship that leads to matrimony.
A person over 50 and single is not a broken person. Let me say it this way – there’s nothing wrong with being single because when you’re single, you’re able to know who you are, define your goals, and plan out your life without any outside interference. All too often, you’ll have family members push you into marriage without telling you to work on you to be a better you everyday. If it’s not family members, you’ll have those in the church trying to hook you up and making you feel bad because you’re single. Instead of encouraging you to work on a spiritual relationship with the Creator, they want you to be hooked-up with the first person that seems logical. Again, I want to reiterate, there’s nothing wrong with being over 50 and single because being single helps you to know who you are, what you want, and where you want to go in life.
Whenever I coach those who are single, I have to remind them that singleness is not a sin. That’s right: singleness is not a disease, a curse, or some bad omen. In fact, singleness has its benefits such as you can do what you want when you want, not having to deal with arguments or disagreements, no jealousy or insecurity, and no worrying about someone always being in your business. Even though these are just a few examples, it’s important to know that singleness is a time to examine one’s life and gain clarity.
Here are a few suggestions for you if you find yourself single in today’s world:
- Get to know who you are. What I mean by this is, get to know who you are as a person, not what roles you play or titles you have. Try this: Google the meaning of your name and see how your meaning reflects your identity
- Don’t feel pressured to have someone in your life because family and friends are pressuring you
- Date yourself. Through dating yourself, you begin to understand your likes and dislikes
- Never use the phrase, ‘I’m tired of being by myself.’ If you use the phrase, ‘I’m tired of being by myself,’ no one will want to be with you because you’re tired of being with your own self
- Write out your career goals.
- Use your singleness for spiritual development.
- Travel and explore the world.
Just about every single person I talk with wants to be loved by someone special. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that, but when a person can’t love himself/herself, they’re setting the stage for disappointment.
A person who is single and desperate to get married hasn’t taken the time to adequately examine themselves. Without self-examination, an individual doesn’t know who they are. When a person doesn’t know who they are, they will quickly become confined. I want you to remember this – it’s okay to be single and satisfied with yourself.
Dr. Sinclair N. Grey III is a speaker, author, and success coach. Follow him on Twitter @drsinclairgrey.org